little dance explained – Diet blog

Finally, finally.

I have lost over a stone. Only half a pound over a stone. But fuck it, it counts. Even if I go back up, it counts.

Why do I think it is? – a) fish. b) eggs c) – eating crap when crap is the only option, rather than nothing. d) drinking too much when your body tells you not to then re-decorating the bathroom in some poltergeist ectoplasmic experience that always looks more effective in a nice shade of shiraz.

Yeah. Not totally positive, but I’ll take anything right now.

Weight loss this week: 3 lbs

Overall weight loss: 14.5lbs

1 Stone Acheived !!!!!

13.5lbs to next target…….

A Diet Blog. Unnumbered

Ugh.  I am at an impasse.  I have been dancing around the same half stone for months.  I don’t blame the diet. I know I haven’t been giving it my all.  From around when Gran got ill, there seems to have been an endless flood of things to distract me, or make my stress levels shoot through the roof, along with taking away spare time to make it harder to prepare food, and get exercise. Excuses excuses I know.  When will I just get on with it?

Preparation and planning – I agree with the Slimming World lady, are key.  And when I am in a certain frame of mind, I do pretty well with it.  I don’t do ready meals. And if I do take-aways or restaurants it’s not out of laziness really. More tiredness, or wanting a treat.  Going to the pub and for meals is pretty much 90% of my social life / leisure activity.  It’s not because I don’t think I can make nice food myself.  I can. And some of the Slimming World recipes are really good.

This past week – thankfully not typical, but three trips to London and back in a day – i.e. sat on my arse, sandwich lunches and dinner (and that’s the best case scenario) – not getting in until late.  Frequently getting caught out in need of an energy burst when chocolate and crisps are all that’s available.  Then the lovely weekend away in Liverpool, when being on holiday, and knowing you’ve already screwed up mean you let yourself screw up a little bit more.  I don’t feel bad about that really.  Now and again is ok – but it seems just to be again and again.  And this weekend coming my OH’s parents are meant to be visiting, so more socialising.

Now – socialising shouldn’t have to mean getting wankered and eating crap. I can probably avoid the eating crap. And cut back the booze. But I just can’t do these things sober, or be around others who are drinking a lot when i am not.  Unfortunately it takes a lot to get me tipsy to the level that lifts those pesky inhibitions. One of the many reasons I would be a lot healthier if I were a hermit, far far away from people and their troublesome social engagements. Bizarrely I’d probably get more out of Slimming World if I went drunk. Because I’d talk to people then. But because I don’t know anyone, I don’t. And I see people bonding and chatting, and supporting eachother, and making progress. To be honest it makes me want to not go back because it reinforces my own feelings of inadequacy and shyness. But I can’t give in to that.

So I need a way to build planning and preparation into a life where I can’t get up early on a morning, and where I get in late. Planning and preparation of food for evening meals, and taking to work for lunch – also for taking on train journeys, so not messy. Planning and preparation of the housework I never get done, the writing, the artwork, etc. Oh – and go to the gym. If I plan, then I could use the syns for booze on a weekend.  But then that means no foody treats. Or condiments/sauces to make stuff a bit more interesting.

It works for a bit, then a week like this comes and it falls apart. Crisis management skills, that’s what I need. And therapy. Coming off the medication does mean an increased tendency to be a sulky teenager when my Id doesn’t get what it wants.  One reason I’m not very good at staying in and being good.  Too many nights in and I start to climb the walls and pull my hair out.  I’d like to get an addiction to the gym, but everytime I get close my knees, hips and back start to scream.

So. I don’t think I’m going to slimming world tomorrow night. I’m going to give myself a week to try and win back some progress. I’ll go to the gym instead, which I haven’t had time to do for a while. Maybe if I feel better I’ll go and get weighed in Leeds on Thursday.  If I get to the gym a couple of times, and try and avoid any excess synage, then hopefully Saturday won’t do too much damage.  Wish me luck.

Diet 2011 so far:
Weigh in no.1

Weigh in no.s 2 & 3

Weigh in no 4

Weigh in  no.5

Weigh in no.6

Weigh in no. 7

Weigh in no.s 8 and 9

Weigh in no. 10

Mini diet blog

Weigh in no. 11

Dietblog – the weigh in theat wasn’t

Dietblog – after a pause

Dietblog – recovery

Dietblog – 14

Dietblog 14

A small gain this week, but I can live with that. I haven’t been terrible, but it was another bank holiday weekend, so there was probably more than the usual drinky goodness flowing. Plus it was the end of the month, and as I get a monthly shop from Ocado, each meal was becoming more and more of a ready-steady-cook type experience as time went on.  Friday night we stayed out too late and got a takeaway. And even though I choose better these days, and didn’t get seventeen starters and half a pig – still wasn’t a well behaved evening. And I got my just desserts on Saturday morning when I weighed myself and it looked like I’d put on 9lbs. Nine. In three days. I was also pre-menstrual and generally miserable due to missing my dose the night before, so cue one major league emotional meltdown and expressions of utter failure and worthlessness.

But I sucked it up and tried to be a bit better, and went to the gym, and walked, and lo, 9lbs did turn into a 1/2lb gain when I stood on the scales on D-Day.  Not so bad. But I’ve a fully stocked fridge now, and not a lot of money to spend, so no reason not to see something good next week.

Though I won’t be able to go next Wednesday – Mum’s 60th birthday. And of course we’re going out for a meal, so all the more reasons to be really really good in the run up. I get really annoyed with myself. 14 weeks. Could have lost 2 stone by now theoretically. Though my body’s response to food and exercise has seldom followed any predictable theory.

Weight loss last week: 3.5lbs

Weight gain this week: 0.5lbs

Overall weight loss: 12.5lbs

1.5lb to 1 stone – 15.5lbs to first target.

Dietblog – recovery

Quick one this week, am in middle of another post about library things.

After last week’s disappointment, wasn’t quite sure what to expect, but I have tried to be better. Haven’t drunk as much – managed to arrange things to do this weekend which while not completely sober, were not entirely about going to the pub. Always helps to have alternatives. We went to see the Alpacas at Ribbon Circus before their annual haircut. Silly creatures. Very cute, with enormous eyes and a strange little noise. Then we went to the gym before wandering to Todmorden to pick up veggies at the market.  Sunday we went to Wainsgate chapel to see Mad Agnes in concert – which was lovely, a nice walk there and back in the wind, and then a delicious roast duck dinner (mushy peas, yum.)

So, my reward:

Weight gain last week: 4lbs

Weight loss this week: 3.5lbs

Overall weight loss: 13lbs

1lb to 1 stone – 15lbs to first target.

Dietblog – after a brief pause

Well. The last few weeks have not really been diet focussed.  Not to say I have pigged out,  but there have been more than a few rushed sandwiches, or eating out, or drowning of sorrow moments. So not overly surprised to have gained – but am disappointed. Sigh.  I have been pretty good on the exercise front.

Anyway. Regroup, start over.  I’ve been getting work stuff back in order, time to sort out my life.

Was nice to go back to group – though it continues to frustrate me that i’m so incapable of chatting with people. I’m sure I’d find it more helpful if I knew people, if I had people to share “the journey” with.  It’ll come no doubt.  Meanwhile, there are some really good looking recipes in the new magazine. I just cooked the singapore vermicelli (slightly ammended due to fridge content.)  and it was very tasty.  I intend to steer clear of the booze for a while. I’ve not had much really over this past week, but I feel bloated and tired. So my plan for this next week – is to plan more. I have slipped out of the habit – so I need to look at what I’ve got in, what I need to buy, and build in some good meals.  Stop being lazy.  I had a good plan for nommable lunches. I’m a bit crap at packed lunch – but something like a bit of chicken, some boiled eggs, potatoes, raw carrot, celery, cucumber, radishes – things I can just pick up and crunch on. (not the eggs – I plan to peel them first!) And then I can graze throughout the day, which is more my style really.  The revised guidance on eggs and cholesterol has been good news, because I like eggs, and they’re filling, so it’s nice not to have to limit them right down.  I don’t know if my cholesterol is still high, but I’d rather be safe than sorry.  So eggs and prawns a go-go.

It’s not like I’m lacking inspiration – some amazing weightlosses around, at work, in the group. The young lad has lost five stone now, just had his hair cut and looks completely different.  It’d be nice to go back with some real progress.

Weight gain over past 3 weeks: 4lbs

Cumulative weight loss so far: 9lbs

Pounds to go to first target: 22 

Dietblog – the weigh in that wasn’t

Was naughty this week. Didn’t go to Slimming World on Wednesday. I did have a reason, in that I was going to London at 6am the following day and just couldn’t face getting in at 9pm the night before and then having to get everything together.  But in reality that was probably a reason latched onto with glee as I didn’t want to go and see whatever havoc I had caused with my previous week’s shenanigans.

I treated myself to Fish and Chips.  This in and of itself was not a bad thing really. I can do that – save up the syns and have something “naughty” occasionally.  I hadn’t had any for 3 months. But following it up with a chinese takeaway on the Friday night wasn’t a good idea. Even though I was staying over at my mum’s and therefore near my favourite takeaway for the first time in months too.  I can’t even claim I chose the most diet-friendly dishes.  Saturday I went on the March for the Alternative in London. Which meant taking sandwiches. Sandwiches are not very Slimming World friendly. At least my snacks were – fruit and alpen light bars, snack a jacks.  But on the way back, all sandwiches spent, we stopped for a monster Burger King.  *hangs head in shame*.

Since then, there has been an indian meal. And another chinese. These however were chosen sensibly. But that Thursday in London was also crap – sandwich lunches again, and crap on the train back. (I didn’t get a burger king this time. But while the croissant with ham and chese may have somehow felt a better choice, I’m not sure it was. At least a Whopper has salad on it!)

And my intentions of “not drinking till we go to York” went a wee bit tits up last night as one glass to perk me up turned into god knows how many.

So. Fell of the waggon and waved as it rolled away.

I will go next week however.  So damage limitation until then is in effect.  Going to parentals for Mother’s Day – but this isn’t too bad these days as they’re generally trying not to drink as much themselves. And i’m off for a walk around Roundhay Park in the morning with mum. I don’t hold out much hope for actual weightloss on wednesday but you never know. I have been walking and going to the gym a lot. Fitter if not any less fat.

Now. Forgive me if I go and don my hair shirt and flagellate myself for my syns.


Dietblog – weigh in no.11

Pah. jinxed myself. I really shouldn’t weigh myself at home. So I either got complacent or whatever and the weight I had the other morning was certainly not the weight on the scales tonight.  Another excessively boozy weekend though. Activity levels are good, eating not so bad (though massive chocolate cravings this week). Need to focus!

Maybe I’ll have a go at red / green plans for a bit, see what happens. But most of all a couple of weeks off the vino collapso would do me good. Shame I just got 2 crates of the bloody stuff delivered.

Plenty of walking at the weekend to come at least. Maybe this is the government’s new anti-obesity campaign? Piss everyone off enough that they start marching the weight off?

Weight loss last week: 0.5lbs

Weight gain this week: 0.5lbs

Cumulative weight loss so far: 11lbs

Pounds to go to first target: 18 (but only 3lbs to go to 1 stone!)